FAQs

the most important questions and answers about touched to be, tantra massages for men in Freiburg

• What does the term “Tantra” mean?

  “Tantra” comes from Sanskrit and is translated as weave, connection, or continuity. In massage practice this means the interplay of presence, acceptance, perception, no performance goal, clear roles, rules and agreements, and plenty of time. We work mindfully in the here and now.

• I’ve never let myself be touched directly by a man, but I’ve wished for it for a long time.

  Tantra massage offers clear roles and a clear structure in a protected setting. This lowers thresholds and builds trust – calmly, respectfully, discreetly. You can follow your wish without sexual intent or orientation framing.

• What exactly is a wellness tantra massage?

  A ritual full-body massage of about 2½ hours with warm oil, first covered with a sheet, later unclothed. You receive; I give. The focus is perception, relaxation, and closeness without a goal. It is not a sexual service but arriving in your body and accepting what it offers you.

• What is the difference between Tantra and tantra massage?

  Tantra is an ancient spiritual tradition. Tantra massage is a more recent massage form with a clear structure and defined roles. Tantra can include sexual intercourse; tantra massage does not.

• How does the setting proceed?

  Plan about 3 hours including pre-talk, ritual, time to integrate, and shower. After the pre-talk and a brief ritual greeting, you lie comfortably on a heated floor mattress. I massage you slowly at first, then more firmly and faster. The whole body is included. After the massage, you can rest, shower, and exchange with me if you wish.

• Is there a set sequence?

  Yes, there is a defined flow and it’s adapted to you. We can vary or omit sequences so that it fits your needs.

• Do we talk beforehand?

  Yes. We clarify questions, flow, wishes, boundaries, and any specifics. We start only when everything fits.

• What do “Receiver” and “Giver” mean here?

  You receive; I give. You may let go and don’t have to do anything. I remain present, attentive, and guide the ritual clearly.

• Is the setting discreet?

  Yes. Everything remains confidential.

• I have limited mobility — is a wellness tantra massage possible?

  We work on a floor mattress. Lying down, turning over, getting up, and walking to the shower require steadiness. With marked limitations, I cannot offer a massage for safety reasons.

• I have eczema — is that a problem?

  Small eczemas are usually unproblematic; I avoid areas as needed. Oil can soothe or irritate individually. Acute/large-area eczemas should be clarified with a doctor beforehand and please inform me in advance.

• I’m overweight — is it still possible?

  Because we work on the floor and I use my own body, mobility and leverage are limited. I offer massages up to about 95 kg body weight.

• Are injuries or scars a problem?

  We clarify this in the pre-talk. I touch sensitive areas gently or leave them out. Nothing acute or unhealed is massaged. For acute issues, please get medical clearance and tell me when you enquire.

• I’ve experienced trauma. Do you still recommend a tantra massage?

  Mindful bodywork can support well when the frame is safe. You choose pace and depth and can stop at any time. More about my stance: special people.

• I’m a survivor of sexual violence. Does a tantra massage make sense?

  It depends on your current state. The work is non-intentional and boundary-respecting; you decide at any time and stay in control. Some people re-experience a positive access to their body. Further reading: special people.

• My prostate was removed. Can I still receive a tantra massage?

  Yes. It’s not about performance, but about perception and relaxation without a goal.

• Should I shave beforehand?

  Not necessary. Come well-groomed, and if you feel better shaved, that’s fine.

• Should I shower before the bodywork?

  Yes, directly beforehand (or at my place). It’s hygienic, respectful, and helps you arrive.

• What should I bring?

  A large bath towel, a small towel, shower sandals, and your toiletries.

• What should I avoid before the massage?

  No heavy meal, no coffee or ginger shortly beforehand, no smoking. Please avoid strong smells (coffee, garlic, smoke).

• What does optimal preparation look like?

  Arrive freshly showered, plan buffer time, keep your schedule free afterwards, bring care items, avoid stimulating drinks, don’t smoke – and come without pressure or expectations.

• Why does a tantra massage take over 2 hours? Isn’t that too long?

  Time equals quality. I plan roughly 2½ hours of massage plus preparation and integration. Only with unhurried time can trust, depth, and true letting-go arise.

• What if my body reacts spontaneously?

  Natural reactions are possible. They are neither forced nor judged. We stay calm and follow the flow of the session.

• What if I don’t feel any particular reaction?

  That’s totally fine. What matters is calm, perception, and a sense of well-being – not what’s outwardly visible.

• What if I react very strongly physically?

  It can happen, but it’s neither aim nor focus. The frame remains respectful and non-sexual.

• Does the massage end if I climax?

  No. That can happen and isn’t judged. The massage continues, attentively and in flow.

• Will every area of my body be touched?

  In principle, any area can be included – with your consent. No-go zones are strictly respected. Changes are possible at any time.

• Does internal pelvic-floor work always belong to the session?

  No. It is optional and only for muscular relaxation. The massage is complete without it.

• Is anything prohibited in our setting?

  Yes: no sexual intercourse. The focus remains with you. If the frame cannot be maintained, I will end the session.

• May I touch you during the massage?

  Generally, no. The focus is your experience. Depending on the situation, non-sexual contact (e.g., holding hands) may be possible. Sexual intent is excluded.

• How close do we get physically?

  Contact can be close. The closeness is functional, not sexual. Natural reflexes are neither provoked nor understood as an invitation.

• What massage oil is used?

  Neutral organic coconut oil for strokes and high-quality organic lotion for hands and feet. No essential oils (for safety and to avoid distraction). We clarify any intolerances in advance.

• Can I go to the toilet during the session?

  Of course. We easily find our way back into the ritual afterwards.

• Do we talk during the massage?

  Mostly it’s quiet. Brief check-ins are enough. You can express yourself at any time.

• Do I have to do anything in the massage?

  No. You are the receiver. You can accept, enjoy, and observe.

• What if I don’t like a particular touch?

  Say it immediately — with a word or gesture. Nothing needs to be endured. Feedback keeps the massage aligned for you.

• What if I like a touch very much?

  Please say so — I can deepen or repeat it. The red thread remains, yet flexible.

• I don’t want certain areas to be touched.

  I respect that. We adapt the flow — at any time.

• What reactions might occur during the massage?

  Possible are deep calm, emotions, tears, muscular waves, or activation. Everything is welcome.

• Can I shower afterwards?

  Yes. The organic oils used are nourishing; your clothes may get oily though. Showering is possible immediately.

• What should I do after a massage?

  Feel into it, stay calm, avoid your phone, drink water, eat lightly. Ideally, no appointments right afterwards.

• How do I pay you?

  In cash at the beginning. This way you can remain in your experience afterwards.

• Can I reach you after the wellness massage if something comes up?

  Yes, feel free. I don’t offer psychotherapy and will refer to professionals when appropriate.

• May my wife/husband watch?

  No. The space is just for you. The presence of a third person disturbs the focus and the quality of the work.

• Can you guide us as a couple to learn wellness tantra massage?

  Yes — we can clarify the details in a conversation.

• Can I learn tantra massage with you?

  Yes — to the training page.

• I feel like I’d be cheating on my partner if I book a massage.

  There is no sexual intercourse. The work is not sexual. The aim is perception, relaxation, clarity, and time just for yourself — which can also be good for relationships.

• What if I have to cancel my appointment?

  Please cancel as early as possible. For cancellations within 24 hours, I charge 50% of the fee.

• What other qualities do you bring to the work?

  Many years of body and self-experience, dance training, teaching practice focused on bodywork, ongoing further education, and additional studies in social work/social pedagogy.

• Where did you learn the massage technique?

  In seminars with an experienced tantra masseuse using various techniques.

• Do you use the “Big Draw”?

  No. Because of possible risks (e.g., head pressure, aneurysms), I abstain. The massage is complete without the Big Draw.

• The first massage was fantastic; I want to repeat it as soon as possible.

  Gladly. I recommend at least 4 weeks’ pause to integrate — then start again with a clear head and open body sense.

• How do I book an appointment?

  The easiest way is online via the calendar. You’ll be guided through the process and receive all information automatically.

  
  
  Book an appointment now

  Questions? Write to me.

• How short-notice can I book?

  Most appointments are taken quickly. Typically allow 3–4 weeks’ lead time. I don’t offer spontaneous appointments.